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Saturday, September 3, 2016

Self Love

Over the years I have had to learn to become my own best friend. There were many nights I spent crying myself to sleep, sad and lonely with almost every given heartache. Over time I realized that I had to learn to comfort myself to overcome the pain. It's a process, and I'm still learning how to do it, but I've gotten better at it. I can honestly say that I am my own friend. Cause I deserve the same love I give to others. No one ever deserves to get treated like an object and to be used for others own personal agenda.

You wait long enough and you can see someone's true colors. They may hide their true selves around you for a long time until their insecurities start to bleed through the cover. And it all just becomes a major disappointment in the end because you would think the enemies are the ones to betray you but its always the people that are closest to you that do the betraying in the end. Was I surprised? Not in the least bit because I have this intuition and my abilities kick in and I automatically can read someone's mind and hear their thoughts and I know what people are doing and what they're actually thinking.

I try to use my abilities ever so often. It can become very frustrating and stressful. Its just better for me to not be around other people because it becomes a headache being in a crowd and it becomes hard to "turn off" my gift. I never tell anyone what I go through. I keep many things to myself. My boyfriend is neutral on the issue and is very skeptical of topics in that aspect. He likes to have facts and scientific data. I use both. Its been difficult lately. I'm just tired of being let down by the very people who want you trust them and they do the exact opposite and shatter your trust in an instant. Yet my old therapist would tell me I have trust issues but it's because I know how fake a person is as soon as I meet them and yet they're telling me to trust them and to be open to them when your gut feeling says no.

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